It isn't easy to talk about feelings or to try to make sense of them. You worry about finding the right words or struggle to express what you are really wanting to say. You might fear that you will be judged by others.

It can feel overwhelming just thinking about where to start. It could be that you've never done it before or perhaps you were discouraged from talking about feelings when you were younger, so it doesn't feel right. You might worry that talking about feelings could make them harder to deal with so avoiding this feels safer.

Firstly, it doesn't matter if you trip over your words or you can only say small bits at a time, or even if you blurt it all out at once. The most important thing is that you find a way of communicating that works for you and enables you to begin to process and make sense of how you are feeling.

Feelings form part of our emotions and they can impact on our thoughts and behaviours. Learning to recognise what you are feeling enables you to better understand them and yourself. This can take time and practice but it will get easier the more you do it.

 

How can I talk about my feelings?

There is no right or wrong way to do this. You need to find a way that is comfortable for you and at a pace which suits you.

Think about where you would feel most comfortable talking, at home? On a walk? Would you prefer to speak to someone face to face or by text? Would you prefer to write things down in a letter or a journal? Are you more creative and express yourself through art or music?

 

Some tips to help you can include:

  • Practising what you want to say – to help you feel less daunted or overwhelmed
  • Be honest about how your feelings are impacting your life. Are you holding back from things you'd love to experience because of your feelings?
  • Be kind to yourself, if you've never shared your feelings before then tell yourself it's ok or think about how you would respond to a friend and offer yourself the same compassion you would give to a friend
  • Have you thought about potential solutions or things that might help you feel better or more at ease? Try noting these down and if you feel able discuss them with someone to see how they sound.

Expressing your feelings can be very beneficial for your mental health and just like anything it takes time to practice and feel comfortable in doing so. It can also help to increase your self-awareness, become more mindful and notice what triggers you. Knowing this can help you to change how you respond and behave and help you to feel more in control.

If this resonates with you and you would like to explore how therapy can help you to learn how to express your feelings, get in touch.