We can all feel lonely at any time of the year but Christmas seems to hit differently.

 

The build up to Christmas sees constant adverts selling the idea of a perfect Christmas, gifts, food but mostly family & friends gathered together enjoying themselves. What if that just isn't your reality, how does it feel to see that when you are struggling with feeling lonely and isolated?

 

Loneliness can occur in a number of circumstances. You can feel lonely in a relationship, a marriage, a friendship group, a crowd of people, or after experiencing a bereavement. 

 

What does loneliness feel like?

 

Loneliness can feel overwhelming, draining, distracting, and upsetting. Quite often feelings of loneliness can trigger shame and somehow feel harder to voice.

 

You may experience loneliness from feeling different and struggling to make connections. Some people can be alone and not feel lonely and others can be surrounded by people and feel lonely. People don't always talk about feelings of loneliness and don't always know what to do with these feelings.

 

Loneliness can be as a result of life changes or new situations, for example leaving home to go to university, changing jobs, moving areas, or the ending of a relationship. It can impact your mental health especially if you've been experiencing it for a long time. Loneliness can increase stress, when you have a need for social contact and relationships which are not being met. Not feeling heard or understood by people around you can make you feel lonely. 

 

Having a mental health issue can leave you feeling lonely. Having anxiety which holds you back from interacting or being around people can leave you feeling lonely. 

 

Chances are if you are feeling lonely there will be people around you feeling the same but not voicing it. 

 

How can I improve things?

 

There are a number of tips to help you work through and combat loneliness. I'll list a few below.


 

Tips:

 

  • Practice Self care - finding things you enjoy, working on your self-esteem and confidence
  • Reach out to friends/family - talking about how you are feeling
  • Do you have any hobbies/interests that could lead to connecting with others?
  • Don't compare yourself to others - avoid social media
  • Take your mind off things - can you distract yourself from these thoughts by doing an activity, reading a book or listening to a podcast?
  • If you struggle to leave your home could you join an online community to talk to others?
  • Focus on your wellbeing - prioritise good sleep, exercise, physical health
  • Volunteer - there are some great opportunities for volunteering that can help you to gain skills, experience and connections with others
  • Therapy - if loneliness persists it might be helpful to seek therapy to explore the reasons, how it impacts you and work on making changes in your life

 

If you are struggling and this resonates with you please do get in touch to discuss how therapy can support you.